To see what I wil be, who I was to decide who I am
Life is not a question anymore , some moments , that’s what my life is made of. Thoughts in those moments, few sad faces, they look at me when I’m not looking at them, clenched in their teeth are some … Continue reading
What can I say to you? What I donot know how do I articulate?
do u see the moon? Oh! How it lights up!
observe it at night . And then the sun?
rises in the sky – it burns in the day only!
they never say anything to each other. But in the precise moments of each evening,
they form a pact.
Don’t return this book to me. And how do we move on?
never mind- let this relationship be
at the Mercy
of one book.
I walk barefoot on the simmering floor when you hold my hand you come to me like a cold drop of water and saunter on the sizzling ground when you are away I melt too i walk barefoot why don’t … Continue reading
Dear mummy ,
I have lost . I will live , don’t worry but I have lost.,I can’t bear it any more, ihave an option of living wth the ones who love me . But I stay alone so I don’t move there cos im defeated. I don’t even know what I’m fighting with. My survival should not be such an issue in this universe. But I’m just very ambitious. I should not be perhaps cos I donot know . I’m still a donkey. Not fit to win this world I give up . I want to . Let me just resign . There is no way there is no point . Where do i go? I keep fuelling myself. WiTh thoughts of positivism every morning I bow under the sun and tell him to be with me .. To. Lead me to the right path .to believe in my fate. To believe in my creations but then I live on earth ..I deal with human beings ,,,cunning smarter., edgy. And ofcourse powerful .. They make me kneel, bow . Request .. I can’t do it any more .i m losing it. I donot know what u would have said if you were around. I donot know . So I’m only listening my heart . I know years down the line when I will be old this will look like a small obstacle and I will look back and resent , but I can’t. I will resent then , probably I will complain again and u will still be silent .
Our fairness is under duress. It kills me . I feel alone . Like a small leaf .. Not taken care off. I need to belong mom . I need to go . I need to forget my ambitions. They are just taking me away from who I am.i have never gone that far , I have always been wth myself .i m hating who I am now.
Tired of this world.. I wana sit in a corner ,, unconcerned about humans.,I wana be immune to agony .. To someone’s plight. There are people who care for me ,, but I’m sad that I am going to them as a failure, I have no joy in this Walk. My shoulders bent n no heads held high. I resign mother . I do.
Mummy, I love you. I wish we could talk.
I wrote a huge piece. It got deleted in the process. I feel like I just had an abortion.
This is the first time I am writing a blog, it’s like opening a window to me, so many words n images stocked in my mind, they need to fly N sit before the world. Let the world judge me through them . I guess I’m doing this cos I need answers . I need closures, I’m not psyched or anything ,I just like to know, I need to know where I’m bleeding n where I have healed, I need to know I smile more often n I’m capable. I am open to words .. To reactions .. To anger ..to judgements .. To friends.. To ampathy.